Let it be.

{MMN}
[note: to lalasparkles, hope this story doesn't bother you in any way. knowing N&S broke up...well, the goal is drama!]
 
7/24/10:
 
Part of me wonders why I came back.
 
Sitting at home, alone, doesn't really make sense.
My mother has been my only friend, and she's never home.
 
I don't know what to think anymore.
Manhattan used to be my personal playground.
My dream world.
 
I held it in my hands.
 
And now it's gone.
With my old friends, too.
 

I was staring at the TV blankly when a knock sounded at my door. I got up and answered it.
 
I was hoping it would Cameron.
You know, apologizing or what-not.
 
So things could go back tomorrow.
 
But no.
 
It was Nathaniel Carters.
 
I opened my mouth, and nothing came back.
 
"Morg," he said, sounding hoarse, "Before you say anything, know that I'm lonely and bored, and I just need someone."
 
Leave it to Nate to know exactly what to say to make me let him walking into my penthouse.
 
"I'm guessing you've been a bit lonely too?" he asked, and I ignored him. I plopped right back down on the couch. He sat next to me.
 
He looked at the TV.
"What movie is that?"
 
I looked up. I didn't even know.
But I saw Heath Ledger, and muttered,
"10 Things I Hate About You."
 
He nodded.
He looked at me.
 
"I brought your favorite ice cream flavor."
 
I looked at the coffee table. Ben & Jerry's, and two spoons.
 
"How do you know that my favorite flavor hasn't changed?" I asked.
 
His face fell. "Has it?"
 
I smirked. "No."
 
I grabbed the carton and a spoon, but I didn't open it.
 
We were quiet, pretending to watch the TV.
 
"Nate, why are you really here?" I finally said.
"To help someone take a picture of you coming over and send it to Gossip Girl?"
 
He shook his head. "I honestly only wanted to see...an old friend."
 
I looked away from him.
"I thought we agreed not to see each other. Ever. Again."
 
"No, no," he said, grabbing the carton,
"/You/ agreed."
 
He smiled to himself as he scooped up some ice cream. I'd be lying if I said I didn't smile, too.
 
Just a bit.
He was still stubborn.
It was humorous, really.
 

The movie was no where near done as Nate said,
"So...how...are you?"
 
I rolled my eyes and looked at him.
"Really, Nate?"
 
How does he think I'm feeling?
Being ignored by everyone who had been a close friend? Isolated?
 
He started to laugh.
I wonder why.
I wonder why I started to laugh too.
 
And when we stopped laughing, Nate looked at me.
It was something different in his eyes.
I've seen it before.
 
On that...notorious night.
I couldn't tear my eyes away for awhile.
 
But I soon did.
 

When the movie ended, Nate turned to me.
"Morgan, I've been pretty bummed lately too."
 
I rolled my eyes at him again.
"Hmph. Why? Summer's more gorgeous than I remembered." I muttered. It was true.
 
He looked flustered when trying to say the next thing. But he said, "She broke up with me."
 
I rose my eyebrows. "What? Why?"
No, no, no.
 
"Because..." he sighed.
No, no, no,
"Because of...you..." he drifted off.
 
I buried my face in my hands.
"Great. Just...great. Wonder when she'll push me in a fountain."
 
"What?" Nate asked. I didn't answer him.
 
He were quiet. My face didn't come up from my hands.
 
"Morg?"
 
He pulled my hands away and noticed that my face was wet and my eyes were wide and watery.
 
"Morgan...did I say something...?"
 
This made me tear up more, and I turned away from him.
 
Tears ran down my face.
 
"Morgan, I'm sorry," Nate said, talking to my back, "But that night..."
 
"That night was a /mistake/." I snapped, turning around. Nate looked hurt.
 
He seemed to be fighting with himself on whether or not to say the next thing. But he did, as if he finally convinced himself after all these days.
 
"So, you didn't feel it like I did?"
 
This made me blush.
"Nate..."
 
"Is it because of Cameron? You're afraid of hurting Cam?" he kept demanding.
 
"We already hurt Cam!" I yelled, "Don't you see?"
 
Nate's eyes were wide, and suddenly, remorseful.
"I know," he said, "You left. I had to stay and deal with looking at her after what we did." he said quietly.
 
I shook my head. He sighed.
"But...Cam got over it. She did. I am sorry for what we did to her. But...we were young. We couldn't help but...just...feeling what we felt..."
 
"Nate, please," I begged, my eyes feeling up, "Don't-"
 
"And Cam's really happy now," Nate still said, "She's practically married to that new guy of hers. But Morg..."
 
He looked up at me, and butterflies went loose in my stomach, without my consent.
 
"Morg, are you happy?"
 
My eyes filled up.
I shook my head.
 
And then I cried.
And he held me.
 
We just sat there, remembering the past.
Remembering when all three of us, Cam and Nate and I, would sit on this exact couch, laughing at the daytime TV shows that would play when we got back from school.
 
Then came middle school.
And it would mean Cam flirting with Nate, and laughing at everything he said, and twirling her hair. And I would encourage her, and laugh at her.
 
And then high school came.
Nate and Cam holding hands.
First awkwardly, and then just confused.
 
And then came the night.
 
And everything changed.
We were young and naive.
But it changed everything, really.
 
Everything everyone thought about me.
Or about Cam or Nate.
It changed.
 

I pulled away from Nate's chest, feeling stupid as I wiped my face.
 
"Sorry." I muttered.
 
"Why are /you/ sorry?" Nate said softly.
 
And we only stared at each other.
 
And he leaned in.
 
He leaned in, and I moved a bit.
 
And our lips touched.
And they stayed together.
For awhile.
 

When we pulled away, we only stared again.
 
"Nate..." I said softly. And a bit breathless.
 
And he turned away from me, smiling, and asked,
"Do you have any good movies here that aren't chick flicks with Heath Ledger singing in them?"
 
I giggled.
And we watched the first Spiderman movie.
And we laughed.
At every part of the movie.
 
But mostly at each other.
 
Because we were crazy.
 
Absolutely crazy.
 
And we were oddly okay with that.
 

It was 10 o'clock.
Nate got up.
 
He was going to leave.
 
I...I didn't want him to.
 
My parents were away at The Hamptons.
I didn't want to be home alone, in the dark, and in the silence again.
 
Nate was leaving slowly.
Lingering, because...he didn't want to leave either.
 
It was when I muttered a goodbye,
and when I slammed the door on him,
and I heard him standing on the other side still,
 
that I opened the door again.
I looked at Nate.
And I said,
 
"Nate?"
 
He turned around, surprised, but not really.
More...relieved.
 
"Yes, Morgan?"
 
I bit my lip.
Not knowing if I should say it.
But I did, because it really seemed as if he wanted me to.
 
And I knew that I did to.
 
"Nate, can you stay with me tonight?"
 
And he only smiled at me and held my hand.
 
And we only fell asleep on my bed, holding each other. Cheesy? Yeah.
 
Yeah, it was.
 
- xoxo, Morg.

I didn't really have time for any of this, so im skipping a story and just putting up a link for Cameron's story( Alex's)

Oh, and, this is the first paper-doll I've ever made, or even a set like this. I hope it's not that bad.
 
Hope you like.
 
---
 
7/14/10:
 
I woke up to the sound of a very familiar voice.
 
It was Connor.
 
He has been leaving messages on my answering machine all morning.
 
He wanted to meet me for lunch and clear things out - he wanted me to explain everything.
 
I owed him that much...since I had left without giving him notice.
 
And I guess he had also heard about Nate. Who hadn’t really?
I got up to see that it was already 2pm, and he said to meet him at the place at 2.

So I got dressed as fast as I could and left the house.
 

When I got to the place, I searched around for him.
 
I caught eye of him, then I went to where he sat.
 
As I was sitting before him, I saw he wouldn’t even look up at me. His face was motionless. He was just sitting there, like a statue.
 
"Hi." I said awkwardly. I didn't know how to start; where to begin.
Then he finally looked up at me, blankly.
 
"Morgan." He chuckled oddly.
 
I frowned in confusion.
 
"Connor, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for what I did to you...how I hurt you. You didn't deserve any of that." Tears were already running down my face. I hadn't spoken of any of this in a while.
 
In his face I could see how he was hurting.
 
"I...I feel like a monster. I went away for so long, trying to run from the disaster I had left here. Only to come back and realize I had made it so much worse by leaving...and…"
 
“Morgan, I just need to know why you left. Did you really care that much for me that you didn’t even call? That you couldn’t just warn me, or just give me a hint that you were leaving?” he suddenly said - sounding pretty angry.
 
“I couldn’t, I couldn’t bear to face you...to tell you I had slept with Nate, while being with you. It wasn’t right. You were so good to me, and look what I did to you.” I looked down, embarrassed and upset."I'm so sorry. For everything."
 
He gave me one last upset look of his, and stood up.
 
“I’m leaving.”
 
“No! Connor wait!” I got up and quickly went after him.
 
Already on the sidewalk, he stopped a few steps away from me, and turned around to face me one last time.
 
“Morgan, don’t do this. You’ve hurt me enough already. I …” He breathed deeply. “I shouldn’t have come here today. I made a mistake.” He started walking away from me again. I chased him.
 
“No, you didn’t. And about Nate, it didn’t mean anything, I swear. I didn’t know what I was doing, it was just an old feeling that came back to me, nothing else. I loved /you/.”
 
I saw how far he was going now. In a desperate need for him to stop now, I finally said it. Or yelled it anyway, making passerbyers stare.
 
“I love you, Connor.” Then I broke into tears.
 
He started walking back to me this time.
 
“I love you too. But this time, it’s just not enough.” he said, sounding so upset...so hurt...
 
“Connor, this world is just so…crazy and…”
 
“And you’re part of it.” He said, cutting me off angerly.
 
“What, and you didn’t know that?”
 
“I don’t know…I thought you were different.” he said, honestly.
 
“Well, I’m sorry I’m not who you thought I was. But…what happened is in the past, you know? And all I can do is try to change. But if you can’t accept that then… you know… you’re not who /I/ thought you were. Apparently, I’m not who you thought I was, and you can’t forgive me for that.”
 
“I-I just think too much has happened. I don’t know how to make things go back to what they were.” he said sadly.
 
“So that’s it then?” I replied, just as sad, with tears in my eyes.
 
“I guess. Yeah.”
 
I then turned around, and left. I wiped all the tears, and went back home...slowly.
…
…
…
At night, one of the girls of Monroe I had met told me about a party a girl named Char was throwing. I decided I needed to go out, meet some new people, have some drinks.
 
[if you still haven't heard what happened over there, take a look: http://www.polyvore.com/look_for_girl_with_broken/set?id=20815247 ]
 
x's,
Morg.

This is a quick set i made.
I think i like it, not so sure though.
 
I like the clothes in it, i'd lovee to be wearing that.
But no, im just so so so bored right now.
I've got nothing to do today.
 
Bleh.
 
Hopefully youll like this.

{MMN}
 
Last night was...interesting.
 
After Cam left, I went back up to Nate's.
 
People still stared, eyes wide open.
 
But I only had one thing in mind.
 
Him.
 
I didn't seem to find him anywhere. That is, until someone caught my eye. It was Summer, tears were running down her pink cheeks, lots of them. As I saw her pass quickly by me and out the building, I figured it was about Nate. So I followed to where she had gone out of.
 
And there he was. All alone. I heard my heels click, apparently so did he. I stopped when I saw those big blue eyes of his meet mine.
 
"Morgan...you...you're back." He said. With a bit of enthusiasm if I do say so myself.
 
I didn't know what to say. I'd been keeping so much on my mind for such a long time.
 
I slowly parted my lips to try and get something out. But he got closer. So close I could feel his breathing on my neck.
 
"What happened?" I managed to say.
 
"What happened with what?"
 
"Us. Me, you, Cam. How did we let it get to this?" Out of desperation I felt tears welling up in my eyes.
 
"Morgan.." He started, then reached out to my face trying to catch a tear. I pulled away.
 
"No, no" I said.
 
"But you're back now. It /can/ be how it used to."
 
"I didn't come back for you, Nate. I can't just do that to Cameron again, she's my best friend, and she loves /you/, no matter who she's with, you're the one she loves."
 
"But, I love /you/, Morg."
 
"Look. Nate, that's just the way things are supposed to be." I turned around about to leave, but his warm soft hand caught mine.
 
"Stay. Please, don't go. I've already dealed with that, I don't want to lose you again." His eyes seemed troubled and in pain. It hurt me to see him this way. I couldn't bear it.
 
I gave him one last kiss on the lips. Then I pulled back, his eyes still shut. "Goodbye, Nate" I whispered in his ear and quickly made my way out of the Penthouse.
 
This one time, I left alone.
 

------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
The next morning I decided to face the hardest of my problems right now. Cameron.
 
I showed up at her place, uninvited. She had friends over - I could see them lounging on her couch, looking at me with wide eyes.
 
I remember when I used to lounge on that couch. And laugh.
 
Cam opened the door and automatically, her face drew a scowl.
 
"Is there a reason you're here?" She spat at me.
 
"I'm here to clear things up with us, Cam." I said softly.
 
"So you decided to care all of a sudden?" She replied harshly. Her words were rough. The expression on her face was soft, yet we all know what that means. She went to go get something, in which she handed to me.
 
"What's this?" I asked, confused.
 
"A letter. I wrote it to you when you were away at boarding school. I never sent it." She said, softer this time. Her gaze fell to the floor.
 
I began to read it.
 
-Dear Morgan,
 
My world is falling apart. My father left my mother for a 29 year-old model. A /male/ model. I feel like screaming because I don't have anyone to talk to. You're gone, my dad's gone, Nate's acting weird, my mom stopped talking to me, and nobody knows what I'm feeling or what to say to me.
 
Where are you? Why don't you call? Why did you leave without saying anything? You're supposed to be my best friend. What you did with Nate really hurt me.
 
But I need you here, you're the only one who would understand and help me get through this. I miss you so much.
 
Love, Cameron.
 
"Why didn't you send it?" I said, slowly, tears threatning. "I would've..." She cut me off.
 
"You would've what?" she said, hurt, "You knew, Morgan. And you didn't even call." She snapped, anger now hitting her.
 
"I didn't know what to say to you, or even how to be your friend after what I did." I began to cry. "I'm so sorry."
 
I saw her face fall a bit when she saw my tears.
I saw her tearing up too.
But she blinked, and just like magic - they disappeared.
 
"Save the theater for someone who cares." she said, coldly.
 
"Please, Cam." I begged.
 
She thought for a moment, then looked up at me with dark eyes.
"I'm tired of your lies, Morgan. I'm tired of living in your shadows. I'm...I'm no longer your fake, best friend."
 
"Our friendship wasn't fake-" I started to argue, but she cut me off again.
 
"And don't think that I'm going to /ever/ forgive you. Nate might be falling to his knees, but I'll never forget. I've already /moved/ on."
 
I frowned. "I'm a new person, Cam." And I was. "I've changed."
 
She slit her eyes. "I've changed, too. I dumped the "love of my life" who did my best friend. I got /real/ best friends who wouldn't backstab me. I met and fell in love with a guy who would /never/ betray me. Face it Morg - I'm done with you."
 
I looked at her, hurt.
She wouldn't even hear me out.
 
"Now, if you excuse me, I'm having a sleepover with my /best friends/. Goodbye, Morgan." And she began closing the door on me.
 
"Cam, if you could only hear me out-"
 
"No!" she said, sounding as stubborn as she did almost 6 months ago, "Now go fuckk someone else's boyfriend. Whore."
 
Her words at me - a slap across the face.
And to make it ever sweeter, she slammed the door in my face.
 
The wind blew in my face, and I stood there stunned.
 
I walked home slowly then, and it'd be a lie if I said no tears fell down my face.
 
Some sort-of-familar faces past me, giving me stunned looks.
 
The city hasn't changed much.
But everything else has, apparently.
 
Nate was still an indecisive idiot - still wanting to hurt Cam and now Summer, who he just broke up with.
 
Cam still has her stubborn, bitchy side.
All of our memories, laughs, inside jokes, secrets.
All of it doesn't matter anymore.
 
She threw it away.
Maybe I did too, when I slept with Nate.
 
But still.
Everything has a story behind it.
And if only Cameron would hear that freaking story...
 
Her cold words only echoed in my head.
There aren't any clear waters ahead, that's for sure.
 

And so the war began.
 
- xoxo, Morg.

{MMN}
 
Im back. Yes. I. Am. Back.
 
No, I didn't die, I also didn't go to rehab and of course I did not go to some jail in Mexico or whatever. Though some tequilas would've been nice.
 
All along I was on some boarding school on Paris, living La Vie a Paris! Taking walks along the Seine, sitting by the Notredame, and thats' about it.
It was not my choice anyways, my parents thought it was "the right thing to do for me", after all the drama with Cameron and Nate I may have gotten a little bit overboard with it all, well, maybe not so little. I was back to change things with Cameron, or so I hoped.
 
------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
As my brand new Steve Madden stiletto's first set their heels on the bright streets of NY, I caught a glimpse of what might have been a Monroe girl taking a photograph of me on her phone. I couldn't believe GG was still on and going.
 
------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
I got home to unpack everything I had brought back from Paris.
I didn't know I was gonna be interrupted with what was gonna be my perfect chance to change things with Cam and get it all back to how it used to be.
 
A text from GG informing all Upper East Siders' about a party Nate was throwing at his penthouse, tonight. I thought about the old days: the exciting parties. The laughter with my best girlfriends and the flirty, fun guys. My old friends. The good-old-days. The one thing I wanted more than anything at the moment would be to live it all again.
So I stopped everything I was doing at the moment, grabbed my new Chanel, and left the Penthouse off to Nate's.
Last time I was there it wasn't exactly all Pink and Roses.
 
I took a deep breath while I waited for the elevator to get to the Penthouse. 8....9...10...
 
It seemed like forever.
 
When I finally stepped in, what sounded before like a party was now more like a funeral.
 
Phones went off. I could hear everyone whispering. Their faces as if they had seen a ghost. Apparently, GG had just posted my arrival. She couldn't have been more precise.
 
I ignored it all, and put one of those "Morgan's famous smiles to die for", and started across the room.
 
I reached out to see Summer, Ashley, Autumn and even Elle. I smiled and hugged, smiled and hugged, searching desperately for...
 
And then I saw HIM, standing next to Rob.
I wasn't what I was supposed to do. What would I say? What would I do?
I thought for now a kiss and a hug should do for a hello. And so I went, and that I did.
 
The look in his eyes, they were the same. Oh, how I missed those deep blue eyes. How I just wanted to retake that night where we left off. But I just couldn't. It wasn't right, not for Cam.
 
Then I saw her, she looked shocked to see me, not quite happy. Of course. What did I expect? Her jumping up and down? So happy to see her best friend who she found screwing the "Love of her life"?
All these thoughts in my head. Her face. The bewildered look in her eyes. I ignored it all. Acted as if none of this had ever happened and hurried up to where she was.
 
Cam's jaw dropped and her familiar brown eyes widened.
 
"Morgan?" she said, almost in shock, or disgust.
 
I nodded, "I'm back! I missed you."
 
I hugged her.
 
She didn't hug back.
 
She pulled away from me, looked me up and down, and left.
Angrily.
 
Things...have changed.
 
A lot.
 
- xoxo, Morg.

i LOVE speechless by gaga.
im OBSESSED with it, call me crazy, whatever:)
 
uhmm, i sortta kindda love this quick settie i made.
bah.

para que continuar? si falta corazon.
 
thats a small part from a very sad love song i like.
love. it.
 

im dissapointed at myself for making this set so...bleh.
 
anywayss, thats from The Notebook, i really liked the movie, not so much the movie itself, but the love those two characters had. Makes me wanna cry everytime.
 
Very few men left like that one from the movie. Or maybe none. We must stick to reality ladies. Hah.
 

Fave or whatever if you like.
 
xo's.

there is nothing for me but, to love you.
just the way you look, tonight.
 
ahhh....im happy.
thats why im making sets.
it feels good:')
 

lalalala.
goodbye:)

#nowplaying Stronger - Britney Spears.
 
yes. im actually hearing that, so olddddddd. hah.
 
hope you like this, its been in my drafts for a month or so now(;
 
xx.

hey there people:')
im soooo sorry, IF you actually cared about me.
but YES, im leaving all RP's.
why? well, im a good looking sixteen year old girl, who likes to go out, and text, and have a life.
So, i dont have any time to be actually doing sets.
I wont be leaving Polyvore though, cause i like to come here once in a while and express myself through my sets, but i cant be writing stories and doing at least two sets a week...so, SORRY.
 
To SS, im pretty sure all ive done are two sets or something, but i just cant. I would've loved to stick around. Sorry.
 
To OCB, my first RP, thanks soooo much for EVERYTHING, i enjoyed the ride, i loved it, thanks, and sorry. Ill miss you guys.
 
To MMN, i wont be on AS MUCH, Morgan left to some other school...maybe she'll come back some other time, as in for me...ill be checking on you guys and GG;)
 

Thanks for everything, sorry again...
love you all.
 
xx,
me.